Germans give my World Cup campaign an early boost
I'm not in the habit of winning competitions - particularly ones that rely solely on luck - but I've come up trumps with the German Tourist Board. I was informed on Friday, in an email from a lady called Jeanette Schuchmann, that I had won a football signed by none other than Sir Geoff Hurst MBE. Geoff, you may recall, has been busily promoting Deutschland as a great tourist destination with a poster campaign. "I had a ball in 1966...and so will you" etc.

I proud to give you a glimpse of my ball on these pages - as well as selection of other stuff the Germans have kindly sent me.
06.10.06 @ 04:46 AM PDT [link]

My German prizes on display at Woodford Towers


Here you can see my official German FIFA World Cup t-shirt with a retail value of €25.00. Scroll down for a more detailed look at the other stuff.
06.10.06 @ 04:43 AM PDT [link]

German goodies close up

My prize pack includes a key ring, luggage tags, a rucksack and a football pen. Plus a strange bloke whose purpose I am still trying to fathom.
06.10.06 @ 04:36 AM PDT [link]

He shoots, he scores....

On me 'ead son... I have a big red button!

This bizarre game has provided endless minutes of amusement for my kids. This mechanical man strikes the ball with his foot when you press down on his head.. Ausgezeichnet!
06.10.06 @ 04:35 AM PDT [link]

Zey sink itz all over

Geoff Hurst signs my official German Tourist Board football
06.10.06 @ 04:31 AM PDT [link]

I've seen it all now


I found this sticker on a pack of prepared salad today. Nothing beats a bit of natural washing. I always use fruit extracts when I wash anything at home, don't you?
06.08.06 @ 06:45 AM PDT [link]

Fire alarms
I was in Nottingham over the weekend, visiting my beautiful new nephew. I am frightened to think that my own kids were ever quite that small. It's amazing how you forget. Anyway, I brought the family with me and couldn't impose on my sister, so we booked into a hotel in the centre of town.

Some idiot - probably on a stag party - saw fit to smash a fire alarm at 5.15 am and we had to grab the kids and head out into the street. Mrs W was very quick off the mark and was off down the corridor with the nippers, leaving me to fry. I was struggling into my jeans and looking for my wallet and suchlike.

After the event, Mrs W said that I'd been stupid. You're not supposed to hang around. The fire could have been real. My counter argument was that there'd be little point in getting out alive if you didn't have your mobile, ipod and wallet. This one could run and run.


06.04.06 @ 04:23 PM PDT [link]

A visit to Lidl in Nottingham
I was struck by the leaflet at the checkout of a Lidl in Nottingham at the weekend. It said that they were withdrawing the sale of diving knives because of the national knife amnesty that's currently taking place.

I'm sorry? Diving knives? This is a supermarket selling cold meat, frozen peas and coleslaw. Has it only just dawned on the management that purchasers of these knives in central Nottingham are probably unlikely to be diving aficionados?

Another strange thing happened on my visit to the store. The lady in front of me in the queue offered me some leaflet about evangelical Christianity, which I politely declined. I know the Lord moves in mysterious ways and all that, but conversions in the Lidl queue? It's just not going to happen, is it? People are just too busy buying knives. To go diving with.
06.04.06 @ 04:15 PM PDT [link]