Ninety nine red balloons floating in the summer sky
I recently downloaded Nena's classic 80s pop anthem 99 Red Balloons. I remembered it as a cheerful little ditty, but realised - when playing it to the kids - that it's actually a very strange song about the Cold War. It seems as if the German songstress was worried that an innocent release of balloons might trigger a code-red reaction from over-eager military types. Assuming it to be a deadly strike with intercontinental ballistic missiles, they would get their retaliation in first. "This is what we've waited for... this is it boys, this is war..." The 80s was a funny old time, wasn't it? Next week, Russians by Sting.
04.18.06 @ 05:01 PM PDT [link]

Derren Brown's Heist show
Someone first told me about this TV show in the new year and it's been broadcast two or three times now on E4 and Channel 4, I think. Basically, Derren Brown gets a group of people together for a couple of weeks and starts programming them through hypnotic suggestion. They think they're on some kind of motivational course, but actually he's seeing whether he can get them to hold up a security guard with a fake shooter. Of his final four participants, three do actually commit armed robbery - although thankfully it's all a set-up, done with actors and the co-operation of the police.

I like to think that I'm not very suggestible. But what if the whole idea for this blog were something that Derren Brown dreamed up some years ago? I'm just unaware that I'm following my pre-programmed instructions. Maybe he put me in some deep hypnotic trance and said "Phil, you are going to create one of the funniest, cleverest and most enchanting blogs on the worldwide web. When you wake, you won't remember any of this, but your writing will be better than it's ever been."


04.16.06 @ 04:20 PM PDT [link]

Living TV's psychics
In spite of myself, I can't help liking the clairvoyants on Living TV.

Colin Fry - presenter of The 6ixth Sense is a funny but rather likeable little bloke, who calls people "my love" and does a sort of FAQ session at the end of his show, where members of the audience ask general questions on psychic matters. I'm not going to get into the business of whether any of this stuff is real or not. Let's just say Colin chips away for 80% of the time with nothing very remarkable happening and then suddenly makes you sit bolt upright by pulling an amazing rabbit out of that big hat in the sky. (Gullible? Moi? I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for how he knows the dog was called Snowy and was knocked over by an L-reg Vauxhall on December 4th.)

Tony Stockwell is a bit more of a geezer. He previously presented a show called Street Psychic, where he'd stop women shoppers at Bluewater or somewhere and tell them they were having problems with men. They'd nod in agreement and ask him whether he knew anywhere they could buy a fake Moschino belt. Tone is the kind of bloke you'd expect to be acting as compere in an Essex bingo hall, except that he'd probably be calling out the ball that was about to be drawn. He has a natural charm and rather nifty line in flash clothes that I reckon would be a hit with ladies 25 years older than him. What a nice young man.

My favourite, however, has to be happy medium John Edward, who is competing for the world record in the number of uses of the word "validate" in a single TV broadcast. Edward presents an American show called Crossing Over in an excitable New Joisey kind of accent. Sometimes he's speaking so fast that you worry he's going to explode and cross over himself.

You can watch this stuff at 9 o'clock in the morning if you want. But it almost certainly clashes with reruns of Quincy on ITV3. Something that these presenters really ought to have foreseen.
04.16.06 @ 04:02 PM PDT [link]

Spam update
Hey,

It's been yrs since we've talked. I apologize I've been so distant but I've been on this new program that has been helping me lose weight.

I've really been trying to dedicate myself to it and it's actually working.
If ur interested, you should read up about it at http://www.canthisbeitisbetter.com/gs/.

as volunteers who were persuaded by teachers, elders, and political personnel.

the musicians on the program that day. "We have Earl Grossman on banjo, Ed Johnson on the milk carton ...

Talk to you later

Rodolfo

My response: Rodolfo, i thought u gone for good man. We were buddies and wen u didnt email i feared the worst. Cool to hear of the new program. i must go check out the site myself. If its good enough for Earl Grossman its good enough for me.
04.16.06 @ 03:21 PM PDT [link]

My bedroom habits
Mrs W and I have always slept on particular sides of the bed. As we slumber, she's on my left and - you've guessed it - I'm on her right. Even when we stay in hotels, we don't upset this important routine.

Things changed recently, however, when Mrs W broke her wrist ice skating. She's had several weeks in plaster and was worried about me kicking her arm in one of my football or martial arts dreams. Or maybe one of my dreams where I'm a top martial artist who's been drafted in as a substitute in an FA Cup Final.

I reluctantly agreed to swap sides. At first it was very odd, but after a few weeks, I kind of got used to it.

The question now is: do we swap back when the plaster comes off? We've read that it's healthy for a marriage to change positions every now and again. But we're such creatures of habit. I expect we'll revert to type.

04.16.06 @ 02:33 PM PDT [link]