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05/27/2006: "Handy refreshment whenever you need it"

Never say Nivea again: I've used the wipes and I still don't look like this bloke

I returned to my former office recently to sort through a load of old junk I'd left behind. There wasn't a lot worth keeping, to be honest. I was pleased to rediscover a pre-Millennial book published by The Sun called Hold ye front page. It celebrates the great events of history as if they'd been documented by Britain's best-loved family newspaper. (The bigger they come, the armada they fall etc etc.)

Anyway, I also found a number of free Nivea face-cleansing samples. I tried one out and it instantly refreshed my face, leaving it feeling clean, invigorated and cared for. But it hasn't turned me into the guy shown here.